A travel blog by a Ugandan female, from the world.
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If you guys follow me on Instagram, you might notice that #SheIsNotLost is one of my favorite hashtags, I use it all the time (among others). It’s inspired by the quote “Not all those who wander are lost” and it’s one that I heavily relate to. Well, most of the time.

Right now I do feel lost though. I started 2018 with so much energy and a desire to share and inspire more. I planned to write inspirational content on this blog and inspire the world (okay, well the tiny portion that I have access to) to live more and live purposefully and I’d eventually put it all in an amazing best-selling book. That’s the plan.

The problem is that it’s easy to get caught up with “the plan” or the destination and ignore the journey. Sometimes, quite honestly, I don’t want to deal with the journey and I wish that I could magically teleport to that place where I want to be. I brush aside the fact that the journey is far from perfect and that most of the time I don’t know what the hell I’m doing. In my personal life, I have challenges and fears that I’m dealing with and I almost don’t want to admit or talk about them because that suddenly would make them real, true or even factual. I want to skip to the part where everything is the way I want it to be and then MAYBE talk about my challenges then. When someone asks me how I’m doing, it’s easy to say “I’m awesome!” Our culture isn’t one that talks about feelings or personal struggles, there are far worse and more important things to be discussed….like what the government is not doing for wildlife conservation in Uganda, prevailing poverty, floods and rampant, widespread corruption. I’ve been raised to always be grateful and thank God for the blessings that I do have, focusing on the blessings and not the challenges.

The thing with challenges though is that not dealing with them does not make them go away. Going to the gym, eating cake, escaping from people, or whatever it is you do to make yourself feel better is only a temporary fix to what is really going on. One night I went to the gym at about 8pm, sat in the steam room thereafter, then bought a nice big giant slice of chocolate cake and gobbled it as I planned my next out-of-town adventure. Distraction after distraction after distraction. Just like how eating cake right after a workout is counterintuitive, so is going round in circles and not dealing with what actually got you there.

I’m praying that somewhere and sometime soon I figure it out but until then, I resolve that I’ll be more honest with myself and with you who is reading this. I’ll share not just the good but also the challenging, hoping that others that are going through something similar will know that they are not alone.

Has anyone felt the same way recently? I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences in the comments below. Xx

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6 COMMENTS
  • Maya

    4 weeks ago

    This is such a beautiful honest piece Fay! I personally have many of these phases every now and then but I decided to be as open and honest as I can to myself, deal with it slowly rather than try to ignore.

    http://www.itsmayabee.com

    • khukyenda

      4 weeks ago

      AUTHOR

      Thanks so much Maya. I like what you said, deal with it slowly. That’s what I’ll be doing 😘
      Thanks again for reading.

  • QWES

    4 weeks ago

    Real Honest. As an entrepreneur in Uganda I get these especially the choice between the doing work for commercial purposes and following my Passions. At times you end up convincing yourself that the commercial bit will end up taking care of the passions only to get caught up in the money making cycle and clients who take for ever to pay up thus leaving you trapped in the cage of getting more work to cover expenses. Mehn, Hopeful that tomorrow gets better, non the less Its all a part of growth and lots of experience gained in all the cloudiness.

    • khukyenda

      4 weeks ago

      AUTHOR

      Your thoughts remind me of a quote by Randy Komisar, “And then there is the most dangerous risk of all — the risk of spending your life not doing what you want on the bet you can buy yourself the freedom to do it later.”
      It definitely is part of growth. If it wasn’t uncomfortable then it wouldn’t be growth. Thanks so much for sharing and for stopping by. Xx

  • Michelle

    4 weeks ago

    OMG! These pictures are simply gorgeous! I do agree that sometimes I wish I could skip the journey and magically learn the lesson but it is in the journey that the magic is made. It may not seem like an ideal method but it makes you appreciate life more. This post speaks volumes for this process. Sharing your experiences in order to help others is also apart of this wonderful process.

    • khukyenda

      4 weeks ago

      AUTHOR

      Thanks Michelle! It definitely does make you appreciate life and all its experiences much more. Sunshine wouldn’t mean much if there was no rain?
      Thanks for the encouragement. Xx

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